Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month

So… I debated for a long, long time whether or not I wanted to share something so personal to me, with the world. Thoughts of embarrassment, feeling ashamed, worrying that if I posted this, would people think I am an unfit mother? But fuck it, this is important & I’m all about advocating for mental health. It is also a touchy subject & if I could just raise awareness & reach out to 1 mom-to-be or a first time mom like myself, it would mean so much to me.

“When a child is born, a mother is too”

You are mom enough.

Personal Experience

I’m not sure where to start. When I found out I was pregnant, a rush of emotions hit me like any mother would recall. Most of all, I was excited that I was going to be a mommy & thst a little human was growing in my belly. My choice to not announce my pregnancy until after birth was for the sake of my own peace and privacy. A gesture I planned to do long before I was expecting. My pregnancy experience was a rollercoaster. Early on I suffered from Hyperemisis Gravidarium (severe all day sickness). I went through some hardships & took some losses that I had to overcome. It was very, very hard. I found myself upset all the time. Constantly crying, feeling alone even though I have an amazing support system. Stressing about literally everything, at the same time preparing for the birth of my son. I realized I let myself get into a depressive state that I familiarized myself with before. Despite everything that I had going on outside of my pregnancy, I knew my son’s health was the most important thing to me. I never knew while in their mothers womb, babies can project the same emotion their mother feels. One day in my third trimester, I was just really having a bad day. Had a breakdown later realized my son wasn’t as active as he usually is. It worried me & me being a google mom, came ran across an article stating that babies in the womb can sense their mothers emotions from the fluctuation in the mother’s hormones. It scared me and I knew I did not want to give birth at 35/36 weeks early because I was stressing myself out so much. I had to focus on the well being of unborn baby. At 38 weeks my son was brought into this world a beautiful, healthy baby. Just perfect. Not so much for me, I had a traumatic birth with my son. Very traumatic. I obsessed myself over the birth & how things coulda, woulda, shoulda went. I blamed myself. I kept thinking “what if”, “what if”. Nothing went as planned. It was the scariest situation I have ever experienced. Recovery was hard, I was in a lot of pain. I felt like everyone was taking care of my newborn but me. I felt helpless, hopeless, traumatized, too many words to describe my first 2 months post baby. I was referred by my OB to see a postpartum therapist. Personally, I don’t belive a therapist could help me & at the state I was in, I didn’t trust myself telling one everything that I was thinking . I started to feel better when my son was around 3 months thinking I just had the baby blues, I was wrong. Once again, I found myself crying all the time, feeling like I couldn’t do this mothering thing. I was still trying to adjust to motherhood while recovery for giving birth. Even some days when everything is going smooth, I would find myself just crying and upset. Fast forward to now, Things are not as severe as they were 2 months ago. I feel myself slowly making a change. The weather is getting warmer & I love to be out with nature, which has lifted my spirits a little. Of course I bring my son with me everywhere as he loves to be outside too. Anyways, I knew this day meant a lot to me because I am still learning about postpartum depression as I am going through it as well. I want to share what I know & if anyone (male or female because dads can suffer from PPD too) can benefit from my experience at all or the information I shared, then my mission is complete. For moms-to-be & new moms, even repeating moms, if you are experiencing PPD, you are not alone. Familiarize yourself with PPD & know it could happen to any woman before & after childbirth.

Antepartum Depression

During pregnancy, hormone changes can affect the chemicals in your brain, which are directly related to depression and anxiety.  These can be exacerbated by difficult life situations, which can result in depression during pregnancy. A woman who is depressed often does not have the strength or desire to adequately care for herself or her developing baby. This is why getting the right help is important for both mom and baby.

What is Postpartum Depression (PPD)?

Postpartum Depression is depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue.

Baby Blues vs Postpartum Depression

Baby Blues- the baby blues are short term. Very short term. In fact, the baby blues usually last less than two weeks and almost always resolve on their own. However, the difference between these feelings and those associated with PPD is that, with reassurance, anxiety will decrease.

Postpartum Depression- postpartum depression is relatively similar to the baby blues. The symptoms are almost the same but vary. The severity and duration of these symptoms is what set apart the two.

Signs & Symptoms

• Persistent sadness that does not go away

• Frequent crying, even about little things

• Poor concentration or indecisiveness

• Difficulty remembering things

• Feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy or guilt

• Irritability, crankiness

• Loss of interest in caring for oneself

• Not feeling up to doing everyday tasks

• Fatigue, loss of energy

• Insomnia or hyperinsomnia

• Significant decrease or increase in appetite
• Anxiety manifested as bizarre thoughts and fears, such as obsessive thoughts

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Somatic symptoms (headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations, numbness and hyperventilation)

• Poor bonding with the baby (no attachment), lack of interest in the baby, family or activities
• Loss of pleasure or interest in doing things one used to enjoy

Treatment

Treatment for PPD depends of the severity.

• Support groups– Support groups may be very helpful while experiencing PPD. They provide useful information and ideas about how to cope better with day-to-day stresses.
• Exercise– Once you’ve recovered physically from giving birth, try to get some exercise every day. A study has shown that vigorous exercise after recovering from childbirth is associated with an increased feeling of well-being.
• Therapy- Psychotherapy, or talk therapy. Usually a therapist can give emotional support & help you understand your feelings and develop realistic goals, which are critical to overcoming postpartum depression.
• Medication(s)- To resolve immediate problems such as slerp & appetite changes, antidepressants are usually quite effective for this. If you are breastfeeding. Some antidepressants are secreted in small amounts in breast milk. Talk to your doctor to make a careful decision about the use & choice of antidepressants. Determine if the benefits of antidepressant therapy outweigh the risk. 
• Electroconvulsive (ECT) Therapy– (ECT) therapy may be used to treat severe depressions with hallucinations (false perceptions) or delusions (false beliefs) or overwhelming suicidal thoughts.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline & Website

• 1-800-273-8255

• http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Final Thoughts

I still have breakdowns, some of those worthless, helpless, feelings come & go.. and come again. It’s has gotten a little easier now that my son is a little older, but Im still in a dark battle with myself. Even now, 6 months later, it’s hard to get through some days without wanting to ball up in a corner & shut everyone out. I do my best to hide it around everyone, at work, as I am dealing with sick people too. It’s not something I like to talk about. But all of that to say, I am beyond blessed that my baby boy was & is perfectly healthy from birth til now. I made a vow to myself that I have to push through for my sons sake. I don’t want him growing up & watching his mother sad or upset all the time. He’s a happy, bubbly baby & I want to keep it that way. My son saved me. I love my son more than anything in this world & I’m so lucky to be his mommy! He’s my angel baby. His well-being & happiness is my number one priority. He changed my life for the better despite going through these setbacks. I love being a mom & realize there is still so much to learn. I am still learning about myself as well. I will continue to advocate about mental health & if anyone needs someone to talk too or has any questions, I am here.

With love,

– Cay ❤

Coping with Anxiety

For the past week.. maybe longer, anxiety has been a bother to me. The only reason I knew is because I kept getting these heart palpitations. They would come and go but usually bother me when I’m laying down in bed. It’s not abnormal because I’ve had them before when I was upset about something. I started to wake up & my mouth felt like my jaw was broken. I knew it was because i was grinding my teeth which is a bad habit of mine and i tend to do it in my sleep. I’m normally a fidgety person but my foot started doing that weird thing when it shakes when i sit or lay. I started biting my lip which i never do unless something is bothering me & actually cut my lip because my nerves have been so bad. All of these things unintentional and not normal behavior of mine. That’s just how i knew.

For anyone going through anxiety and unsure how to cope, i’ve tried and researched a few of these strategies given. Add a few into your daily or weekly schedule to calm & relax your mind:

• Take time out | Arts & crafts, listen to new music, meditate and sage, get a massage, take a quick trip out of state, take on a new hobby or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head.
• Eat well-balanced meals | Try not to skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Eating Vitamin B, Omega-3, high Calcium foods, & Magnesium rich foods are also important for neurotransmitters in the brain that control/balance your mood and stress response.
• Get enough sleep | When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest from being overworked. Sleep deprivation can contribute to common anxiety symptoms like excessive worrying, fear, and/or tension. Give your body 7 hrs of sleep at LEAST.
• Exercise | Helps you feel good and maintain your health. Jog, walk, bike, or dance three to five times a week for 30 minutes or longer. Hiking or lifting weights also help reduce muscle tension and release “feel good” hormones. Even better if you have a “excercise buddy” to tag along. Practice yoga outdoors in the sun.
• Limit alcohol & caffeine | Alcohol was my first instinct whenever i wanted to get something off my mind. That’s a big no no. Alcohol & caffine tend to trigger anxiety symptoms and cause nervousness, moodiness, and the jitters. I’m addition, it’s also known to cause anxiety attacks. Just don’t do it.
• Talk to someone | When dealing with depression, i learned that’s it’s not safe to be alone or spend majority of your time by yourself. It’s very unhealthy for your mental. Not everyone is going to be mindful and care about what you’re going thru or for your wellbeing like they say they do. Don’t open up to the wrong person or people. Be careful. With that being said, if your anxiety is affecting your quality of life.. consider joining support groups or connecting with people dealing with anxiety. Therapy is not for everyone.
• Essential Oils | Most nights, usually before I go to sleep, I add a few oils into my diffuser that help me relax and fall asleep. My favorites are;

1. Lavender | only use this scent when i paint or go to sleep. I have a few lavender candles i have around my home. It helps induce calmness, symptoms of anxiety like nervousness, headaches, & muscle pain.
2. Frankincense | VERY beneficial oil even tho i hate the smell. Because I know my heart palpitations are caused from anxiety, i use this oil quite often. When inhaled, its been shown to reduce heart rate and high blood pressure. It works as a anti-anxiety & depression-reducing abilities. As I’m writing this blog write now my diffuser is blowing out this scent.
3. Eucalyptus | one of my favorite scents ever. Creates a cooling, refreshing effect. It works as a stimulant removing exhaustion and mental sluggishness.
4. Lemon | another important oil. I usually combine this with the lavender oil as a mood uplifter. Lemon oil is calming in nature and helps in eliminating mental fatigue, exhaustion, dizziness, anxiety, nervousness and tension. It also said to refresh the mind by creating a positive mindset and removing negative emotions.
5. Sandalwood | i have a few toiletries with this oil in it. This oil sedates, anxiety, fear, stress, and restlessness. Furthermore, inducing relaxation, calmness, concentration, inner vision, and positive thoughts.

Breathe in deeply

• Supplements

I’m not big on supplements, but I have heard nothing but good reviews about these particular few that I am willing to give a try:

1. Kava Root; stimulates dopamine receptors and inducing euphoria. Used to improve mood, ease anxiety and improve sociability.
2. Magnesium; regulates hormones that are crucial for calming the brain & letting off relaxation. Also helps to relax your muscles & calm the nervous system.
3. Vitamin B; serves as a natural remedy and works to boost your mood, balance blood sugar levels, and maintain a healthy nervous system. Vitamin B12 is what i would recommend because it’s the most important fighting stress, mood disorders, & depression.

Final Thoughts

Don’t ever feel bad about feeling bad. Painting has helped me tremendously because it’s so therapeutic. And who knew I’d actually be a little good at it? Yoga/working-out and long walks have also become apart of my everyday routine for a while and has kind of eased my anxiety from time. I get out of my apt as much as i can. Whether that’s just rollerblading at parks or going to friends & families house to be around love & happiness. It’s dangerous to sit in your own thoughts alone. Trying new vegan recipes and sharing them with loved ones makes me feel good. I bought a crap load of books that’s I plan to read and space out. Redecorating, taking on some DIY projects. Those are just a few things that I have been doing to distract my mind. Everyone has their own ways to deal with their stress. Things get overwhelming and some can handle it better than others. And that’s ok. It’s OK to cry every once in a while. It helps. Nature helps. Taking care of your body helps. Being vocal helps. Giving helps. Learn to see the beauty.. in everything because you will be ok.

Love,

Acaysia ❤

Smoothie Bowl

Blended:

• organic frozen Açaí
• Strawberries
• Mango
• Pineapple
• Banana
• splash of fresh Watermelon & Strawberry Coconut water

Topped:

• sliced Starwberry Granola mix (Flaxseed, dried Berries, & Coconut shavings)
• Hemp, Chia & Pumpkin seeds
• dried Mango & Pomegranate chews (i don’t like chews/gummies but they work in the bowl)

Time: 10-15 mins

99.9% Organic 🌞

100% Vegan 🌱

Holiday season is here ! Is your body ready?

Tis the season to get sick ! Just a reminder to everyone that flu, strept, and pneumonia, are right around the corner. Also, all are apart of the common yet dangerous fall/winter diagnosis. Be sure to keep your immune system up to par because once you get sick in the duration of cold weather, its 10x worse & much longer to get rid of as opposed to hot weather. Along with doctors advice & my own research, I’ve come up with some key ways to boost your immune system for both adults & kids to prevent harsh illness’s.
DIET

• The body feeds off nutrients, such as vitamins A, C, D and E, as well as minerals selenium and zinc, and Omega 3s, to support your immune system. Focus on eating whole foods, such; 
• Whole grains
• Nuts & seeds
• Fresh and organic fruits such as berries, citrus, and kiwi.
• Bell peppers onions, & dark green vegetables are also great for vitamin C and are a key source to strengthening immune systems.
• Superfoods such as bee pollen (for those who are not vegan), camu camu, reishi mushroom, and micro algae can give your immune system an extra boost as well.

Try adding some spices in your diet such as;

• Garlic
• Ginger
• Black peppercorn
• Cayenne pepper
•  Allspice
• Curry
• and Turmeric

They contain components in the digestive stream that help to boost your immune system.
And of course, WATER ! Water helps in the production of lymph, which carries WBC’s (white blood cells) & other immune system cells. Staying hydrated is one of the best things you can do for your health. For an extra boost, add a slice of lemon, which will provide extra vitamin C.

MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY

Chronic fatigue is known to increase risks of illness. The body rejuvenates & strengthens when it’s at rest. If you can, sleep 7 to 8 hours a day, and if needed, take an afternoon nap. Your body will thank you. 

Exercising is not only a great way to get in shape, but it also increases our immune function, improves sleep quality, and makes our body stronger. Vitamin D is an important strand cooperated to strengthen our immune system. Try go for a 30 minute jog, without sunscreen. When the sun is not at its highest. If you do not have any health conditions that prevent you from exercising, find the time to workout, even if it’s only a long walk!

SAY HELLO TO FRIENDLY BACTERIA !

It’s known that about 80% of our immune system is located in our digestive system. So keeping a healthy gut is very important to keep a strong immune system. Probiotics are good bacteria that can be found in whole and fermented foods, such as; raw sauerkraut, miso, yogurt, kefir, kimchi & microalgae.

As much as possible, try to avoid antibiotics. They’ve been shown to attack beneficial bacteria in the digestive system & suppress immune functions. Unless you really have to take them, see if you can find a natural alternative first. If you have a cold, sip on a cup of hot water with lemon, ginger, and organic honey. You can also get echinacea or zinc, which are great for flu &  cold. 
Besides the obvious prevention tips like washing your hands & staying away from people who are ill, try some of these tips to keep from inhabiting your body. Keep your immune system healthy & strong all winter long!

Spicy Vegan Breakfast Tacos with Mango Pineapple Salsa

I woke up pretty early due to lack of sleep last night so I got up & made one of my new favorite vegan breakfast recipes I discovered a couple weeks ago. It’s a pretty simple recipe when you already have the ingredients at hand. 

Time:  20-25 mins

Serving(s):  4 (unless you’re greedy like I am)

Ingredients:  12 items

Produce

• 1                            Avacado
• 1 tbsp                   Cilantro 
• 1 tsp                     Garlic (fresh clove)
• 1                            Jalepeno 
• 1/2 cup                 Juice of a lime
• 1/2 cup                 Mango
• 1/2 cup                 Pineapple
• 1                            Shallot
• 1/3 cup                 Tomato 

 Condiments:  Avacado-lime dressing (my fav)

Baking & spices:  S&P

Other:  4 small flaxseed paleo tortilla wraps or 2 large ones 

Then you slice & dice all of your ingredients. Sprinkle a lil lime juice over ingredients before filling your wrap & voila ! A simple yet filling, packed-protein breakfast ! Enjoy.

Stressed ? Have sex !

Smart women deserve great sex. Whenever, wherever, with who ever.

While most people think of sex as a recreational activity or a once every blue moon luxury, I see it as a daily necessity. Through sex, you get all sorts of release – physical, emotional, spiritual, vocal and whatever else you want to let go.

Sex. Grab some tea… better yet wine.

Slow Sex

I enjoy morning sex. When my significant other and I both have awful morning breath and turn to each other with googly eyes. But slow sex has always seemed inefficient. Who has time for that? Plus mornings are inherited sensual. Only make love to me when I ask, when I feel like being in a romance novel. Of course not everyone will agree with me but people relieve their stress with sex according to how they feel at the moment. Sunday afternoon sex is always a “unwinder” leading to a long nap after cleaning and prepping for the week ahead. Other than that, the only slow sex I enjoy is when I turn over in the middle of the night and were both half asleep making lazy love. Or if i’m sick, always clears your sinuses and headaches. Not that I don’t enjoy it because I do, I just prefer to be flat out dead to the world after. If you’re looking to unwind and do some breathing exercises with a little bit of yoga, slow sex is your best bet.

Fast Sex

Now we’re talking, my favorite. Fantasies of quickies in art galleries or the rush of getting caught being nasty in public, has always been part of my rotation. I personally don’t like quickies just because I want go the whole 9 yards but they are the biggest solution to minuscule stressors. Though a tip to a successful quickie is to make sure you wait for the right time and place to do so. (i.e someone’s house, in the movies, or a in a car) Rough sex, having no expectations and a sense of humor with your partner helps. Getting thrown all over the bed. The louder, the better. The sloppier, the better. I prefer high sex over drunk sex though because its more aggressive, and the more aggressive the better. Of course this is my personal opinion. Works as the best sleep aid, plus you burn calories all in one. You don’t think when you’re going full speed ahead which makes it more fun, and you can only do that if you and your partner are truly comfortable with each other inside and outside of the bedroom.

 Angry Sex

Angry sex is my second favorite kind of sex. When my s.o. and I get into a argument, i’m 99% sure it will be followed by some great, rough sex. Anger is a complicated emotion and one that we’ve never really been taught to deal with. When we get advice like “Don’t go to bed angry”, we assume that the only way out of our enraged state is to talk things out. That we need to air our grievances, yell and scream until we reach an agreement and fall blissfully asleep. That actually makes things worse. You get in a crazy argument with your guy and try to go to sleep mad at each other knowing you’re probably going to turn over and have the most aggressive sex ever. Hair pulling, slapping, name calling (which you don’t even catch until after because you’re too in the moment), etc. Then have the best sleep of your life. Some will be too stubborn to forgive you and give you blue balls or a dry snatch and well.. you must have really screwed up.

Breakup Sex

Breakup sex (“one for the road”) is the bittersweet, passionate sex you have with your partner shortly after or before breaking up with them. The breakup to makeup sex. Or, the “breakup and actually mean it” sex. It all starts with the unresolved angry sex, then the actual breakup, then breakup sex.  Breakup sex brings out all of the emotions that were felt right before, into the love making; The sadness, anger, confusion, thus making the experience more passionate between the two. Some people consider breakup sex to be even better than makeup sex. Then after, you’re both at peace but confused on what the hell happened and where it takes the relationship. Now some actually go on with their lives after breakup sex because it was clear what the intent was in the beginning. The exciting nature of “goodbye” sex is due to its unique circumstances: this is the last chance to enjoy sex with each other. The total lack of constraint is what’s said makes breakup sex usually the more exciting than makeup sex.

Makeup Sex

Make-up sex is a superficial remedy for fights. I use it as a pacifier when I would make my s.o. mad or when we’d argue and I was actually in the wrong. The “you thought you were done this time but really aren’t because the sex is so good” sex. The boomerang. The thing everyone experiences at LEAST twice in their lifetime. It is not necessary to provoke serious fights in order to have great sex, as there is a price to be paid for fighting. You think you’re REALLY done with him/her this time until you have to “get clarity” or “closure” which of course HAS to be done in person. See each other, hash things out then here comes the rage and arguments over the breakup. Then there’s that little moment of silence and tension when your s.o. looks fine with their scrunched nose and puckered lips that makes them so seductive that you attack. Makeup sex is when you and your ex vowed to stay “friends” but still unknowingly do things couples do. You rekindle and have sex with this person and realize you guys didn’t really breakup but it’s more ignoring each other for a few days to a week or so. Then following the “you’re not going anywhere, you’re mine” convo, is the spontaneous, wild, happy you got your s.o. back, sex.

Your Own Sex (masturbation)

Arousal and orgasm are most easily achieved through masturbation, especially if you’re single or in a sexless relationship. Taking a good hour or so to give yourself some self loving is a great way to help with stress. When your focus goes on to making your body feel good, you enter a stage of calmness. As we think about sex in any form, dopamine, a chemical released by the brain that gives us a sense of pleasure, is released. As we engage in sexual activity, another chemical, endorphin’s, are released throughout the body, which create relaxation and trigger positive feelings. Depending on how wild you are, masturbation can be tiring. If you’re great at it, your end result can be utilized as a sleep aid. Your blood pressure is lowered and relaxation is increased through the release of endorphin’s. By the end, if you’re exhausted, relaxed and at peace of mind, surely you’re in for a good night’s sleep. In other words, if you’re struggling to get some rest, try having an big O before bedtime. Just be careful not to rely on masturbation as your only escape from stress.

Bottom line is to remember you have the option of sex and pleasure before you stress yourself to a complete breakdown.

Depression: It’s Real

Up to 15% of those who suffer from depression, commit suicide. Depression in the black community specifically is heavily misunderstood. Many times depression can be mistaken for sadness, low self-esteem, and irritability. And is easy to confuse and ignore signs of depression with “laziness”, “moody”, or emotional angst. Sometimes before we notice what that person is going through, its too late. Here’s a little article to acknowledge those who are unaware of depression in hopes of one day saving a life.

What Is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that affects the way feel, think, and handle daily activities such as: sleeping, eating, working, and social interaction. To be diagnosed with depression, your symptoms would have to last for more than two weeks.

Depression vs Sadness

It is difficult to tell the difference between sadness and depression just because they are pretty much one in the same.

Sadness– is an emotion that all people feel at certain times during their lives. Feeling sad is a natural reaction to situations that cause emotional upset or pain.

Depression– is a longer-term mental illness. It impairs social, occupational, and other important areas of functioning. Left untreated, symptoms may last for a long time.

*** Anxiety- a person with anxiety experiences fear, panic or anxiety in situations where most people would not feel anxious or threatened. The sufferer may experience sudden panic or anxiety attacks without any recognized trigger, and often lives with a constant nagging worry or anxiousness.

How Do You Diagnose Depression?

The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem.

• Mood– anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness.
• Sleep– early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep.
• Whole body– excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, or restlessness.
• Behavior– agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation.
• Cognitive– lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide.
• Weight– weight gain or weight loss.

 Personal Experience

I have experienced depression a little over a year ago. It came months after I witnessed the death of my best friend. My grieving process was different, I couldn’t cry. I tried, forced myself to for weeks. I felt bad as if I was SUPPOSED to cry when I was really in a state of shock. I thought distracting the feeling with work would help but only made it worse because we worked together. 2 months after the traumatizing incident, I started to feel different, look different, and think different. I lost weight, started experiencing sleep paralysis, shut out all of my friends and family, I was in a bad state. At times I even thought I even thought I SEEN (Shad). The whole “what if I’m crazy or what if that was really him” started to mess with me. Going on for three months I became distant from everything and everyone. I didn’t know how to cope and constantly felt trapped in my thoughts. I started to feel regret as if I was the one to blame for my friend’s death. With all the attention everyone was giving me, only made me want to be alone. At first I mistaken my depression for grief, loss or sadness, but it was nothing like the sadness I’ve felt before. I eventually went to my doctor who diagnosed me with depression. Working in the healthcare field, I knew how dangerous anti-depressants were so I didn’t take what they prescribed me. My beliefs differ from others so I didn’t “pray” like everyone told me to either. I simply talked to my friend. I told him how sorry I was and how much I missed him. Told him how I feel trapped and asked for his help. It worked. My negative thoughts eventually turned to positive determination. I wanted to feel better and get out of the miserable state I was in. Eventually, I started to interact with others again, get outdoors which helped tremendously. I had to shift my focus and I did. Though the night I lost my best friend is imprinted into my memory forever, his incident has inspired me to help others involved in traumatic situations. Now when people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them “I save lives”.

Where Can I Get Help?

Many times treatments such as medications and/or different types of therapy do not help to treat depression and can lead to a more serious issue. Here are some hotlines you can call with professionals ready to help you or someone you know.

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline – 1(800)-273-8255
• Crisis Help Line (for any crisis) – 1(800)-233-4357
• Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433)
• Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999

October is National Depression Awareness Month. Join a organization which are held all across the country in recognition of National Depression Screening Day. Wear Green in support of those who lost their life due to suicide from depression.

My Vegan Journey: Before & After

I am currently typing this as I eat the greasiest, most delicious fries ever so don’t think this will be all about my perfect journey.

Before

I was working at Bad Daddy’s as a bartender for a few years before my current job in the hospital. Before that, I was working at Chick Fil A, which I hated. Obviously I wasn’t that health conscious because I ate any and everything. I then joined the healthcare field, and that’s where I began my semi-healthy diet.

First Experience

While working my first job as a PCT (patient care technician) not only did I experience first hand the harm certain foods can/will do to your body, but I also seen realized the importance of self-care as well. I was an intern for the hospital I currently work at, under the best cardiothoracic doctor ever. We were doing rounds and I got the case of a patient (who of course I will not name), that was in for stage A heart failure. It’s caused by various reasons but his particular reason was HBP (high blood pressure). His eating habits caused him to have a sky-rocket BP but he didn’t take doctors orders to lay off a list of foods, therefore he was in heart failure. A lot of times you can’t recover from heart failure which is unfortunate. I genuinely felt bad because all I was eating at the time were in-fact, “bad foods”. I went home and did some research about the causes of heart failure and HBP, and how they tied into an unhealthy diet. This is where my journey started.

DON’T. EAT. THAT

My research lead me to find out that in fact red meat is the highest risk factor for cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. I was really disappointed because I loved the hell out of steak and pork chops ! Seeing up close what it did to that poor mans body led me to my decision to (eventually) give up red meat. It took me a while to adjust to not eating any type of red meat, though sometimes I would cheat. The more I looked at bleeding chops and half-cooked steaks, I got disgusted. Eventually I gave up red meat all together. Sadly that includes the neck bones my mama would make on New Years, or the greens my great-grandma would make occasionally. But I felt good about my decision, physically and spiritually. At least I knew that would be a less likely factor for me to get sick. It’s been a little over 5 years now since I gave up red meat, and I honestly think it was the best thing I could have done for my body. Now-a-days when I’m out to eat with my friends or  family, I try to convince them NOT to eat the pigs or cows but, you can’t win them all.

Pollo-Vegetarian

There was no way in hell I was going to give up Buffalo Wild Wings, or pass up turkey on Thanksgiving. Being that my family does not follow the same diet I do, I had to find substitutes for the meat they cooked around the holidays. I started to eat subway a lot more than I did. I’ve always been petite no matter how much I ate so I didn’t want to lose any unnecessary weight. I made sure to double my intake of protein a day, especially if I was doing any type of fitness. My love for salmon is… I can’t even explain. I LOVE it. Salmon has loads of protein so I started eating it just about everyday (I could never get tired of it). I still ate turkey, chicken, seafood, but I slowly backed away from dairy products. I started utilizing chicken and turkey in different ways more than one or two.  I have Pinterest to thank for that.

Transitioning 

I’ve always love salad. Adding what you want and making it into your own. Really any greens, especially spinach and kale. During the 5 years I spent being a pollo-vegetarian, I started to try different foods. I fell in love with quinoa, star fruit, black bean burgers, tofu, etc. Foods I would have never even thought to try if I wouldn’t have given up red meat. I’ve always liked my food seasoned, really seasoned. I started buying all types of seasonings since I was never a vegetable eater (let my mom tell it). She was actually the one who actually introduced me to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s my first year of college. I love almost any fruit so I started juicing and making my own energy drinks which is so fun. Gave up soda all together, unless I’m mixing it with liquor. Completely stopped drinking cow milk 2 years and counting once I read an article about how cow milk was REALLY filtered. (poor cows) I substituted it with almond and soy milk which I wish I would have done years ago. I hate coconut and coconut flavored anything (which is ironic because I use coconut oil daily) but I REALLY want to love coconut milk/water. The more I discovered different foods, the easier I thought it would be to go vegan.

100% Vegan

Today… well yesterday was the 4 month mark that I’ve been completely vegan. No meat, dairy products, poultry, nothing animal based. I have seen a major difference in my body and change in my energy, hair, skin, etc. I feel great ! In the morning before work, I make my morning smoothies which consists of: vegan protein powder, orange juice, frozen fruit, kale, and chia seeds. I mix up the ingredients daily but this is just my favorite one. I’ve started making homemade meals from Pinterest which was definitely a trial-and-error process. I char my vegetables now because they taste better to me on the grill. With lots of seasoning of course. Since I am completely meatless and still workout, I make sure I get a good amount of protein before and after. Example, before workouts I start with a banana, avocado toast, and a bag of mixed nuts. After my gym session, I make sweet and spicy kale and curry potatoes with marinated tofu. Or mix the meals up a bit. All of my meals are homemade which is why I’ve become in love with cooking more. When I cut off all animal products it was harder than I thought just because I would forget some condiments are made with animals products. So I would jot it down as a reminder what not to eat. I did lose a little weight adjusting to my meal plan I had made but gained it all back thankfully. People think that being vegan means you miss out on foods which isn’t at all true. There are plenty of substitutions that are just as good or even better ! My biggest accomplishment is making vegan ice cream which was honestly better than any other ice cream i’ve ever had. I have been more open to cultural foods such as egyptian and Indian food which I have grown to absolutely love. I don’t know if I will want to stay vegan my whole life just because I miss eating chicken, salmon and putting honey in my tea. But I have noticed a major change in my appearance such as healthy weight gain, and hair growth. But overall all I will say this was the best decision I have made and my body thanks me for that.

Homecoming

I’m back & blogging !